When You're Liked But Not Loved

The emotions. The feelings. The laughs. The cries. The intense passion that you have for another individual — this must be “in love.” At least this is what you subconsciously tell yourself.

But what if perhaps the individual with whom you find yourself in a relationship may simply “like” you, but not truly “love” you?

What do I mean by this?

Being liked falls under the descriptions listed at the top of this post — you feel as though the feelings, the laughs, the cries, the passion must equate to love, but those factors are all that exist — they lead to a dead end, as they define the relationship. Simply, they are the relationship.

But love goes deeper — real love that is.

What is real love, though?

Love, according to the Bible, is described as, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

Simply, love is deeper than all of these fleeting emotions and factors — love is unconditional, love perseveres, and love endures. Loving someone is not the same as liking someone, and, yet, we often get these two mixed up — we get them entirely wrong.


Love is not based off of physical appearance.

Though it is important to be attracted to the individual with whom you are engaging in a relationship, this should not be the sole factor drawing two individuals — this should not be the reason that you engage in a relationship, as love is more than skin-deep. Love loves another individual, flaws and all, for who he or she is.

Love encourages.

Love is not selfish nor attention-seeking, bringing praise to oneself over the other individual in the relationship. Love does not take, take, and take. Love encourages the other individual to reach his or her greatest potentials and follow the path that Christ has presented to the person.

Love is selfless.

When someone truly loves you, he or she won’t leave when the going gets tough — they won’t lose interest after the passion has faded and the difficult aspects of life start trickling into life. When one demonstrate selflessness in a relationship, he or she strives to put the other person’s needs before anyone else’s. When loving selflessly, your personal interests wean in comparison to the other’s. Simply, you think about yourself less, and the other individual in the relationship more and more.

Love is enduring.

True love gets through difficult times — and even welcomes these moments, as this helps strengthen the relationship. Love does not give up when it is convenient to do so. Love does not find the easy way out of the problem. Love stays put.

Emotions, looks, money — the qualities that attract you to another individual — are all fleeting; you’ve heard this so many times. But it’s true. So very true. Loving someone is not the same as liking someone, and mixing up the two occurs more often than not. We get wrapped up in the emotions of the relationship and not the true, authentic genuineness of love.

Love is summed up in the following: Truly loving someone is laying down your life for another individual, just as Jesus did for us — the ultimate sacrifice and demonstration of love. No other act of love is greater than this. So, let us love those around us and not just like them, just as Jesus did for us.