Just Get There

Life with Jesus so often feels like a free fall. Like standing on a cliff and looking down into nothing. Like edging your toes closer and closer to the drop off. Like not knowing exactly why but feeling without a doubt that this is going to end in a leap- and that’s insane. Like deep breaths. Like bended knees. Like suddenly there’s nothing beneath you.

There’s peace, because Jesus is there, and it’s good. It’s the kind of peace you don’t have to fight for, it just is. The kind of peace that settles in low; under the anxiety of your mind, beneath the pounding of your heart. It settles deep into your core. It’s that gut feeling that no matter what is going to happen, everything will be okay. You can’t explain it, but you can’t really explain any of this other than to say “I can’t imagine going anywhere else, this is just right. Jesus is leading me.”

It’s hours spent running the trails in the southern, summer heat working every single situation over in your head asking Jesus, “but what if?” It’s hearing friends question your decision making skills and reassuring them that yes, you fully understand the risks of the situation, but you’re going anyway. It’s listening to your mom verbalize the exact fears you kept quiet but that echo loudly in your head about all the very valid, logistical nightmares that are so incredibly real. It’s whispering, “Jesus, how is this going to work?” into the dead of night and hearing him whisper, “just get there” back into your heart.

Just find the ledge. Just feel it with your toes. Just take one deep breath. Just make one choice to trust.

Life with Jesus is like a free fall, but not because we were pushed off a cliff; but because we chose to jump. It’s acknowledging when the tugging on your heart turns into a tug of war and deciding to follow the rope, hand over hand, to what’s pulling it.   

It’s a heart-pounding, wild-feeling, stomach-churning, what-in-the-world-am-I-doing kind of life. It’s choosing every single minute to trust and to believe what you’re doing is right because if you don’t the doubts will flood in and over take the truth with its screaming. It’s deciding over and over again from minute one when you’re asked to choose a life that is centered on trust or clarity, choosing trust every time. It’s ridiculous. It’s not usually the easiest. It’s always questioned. But it’s Jesus. And that’s what makes it worth it.

He’s not asking you to weave the net that will catch you on the way down. He’s just asking you to get there.

Like deep breaths. Like bended knees. Like suddenly he’s catching you.