To the Girl Who Has Never Been in Love

Hey sister-

I’m there with you. I get it. It’s hard when you feel like you can’t relate to the country song on the radio. When you get that drop-in-the-stomach feeling when you are the one not slow dancing on the dancefloor at weddings. When you watch movies or tv shows and just wonder, "will it ever be like that?"

It’s hard to stop our jealous minds from questioning:

• What is wrong with me?
• Why did he ask her on a date and not me?
• Do I need to change myself?
• Should I do my hair differently?
• Do I need to be skinnier?
• Do I cause myself to get friend-zoned?
• Do I need to move to find the man of my dreams?
In my opinion, we are living in the “comparable generation". Social media is one of many examples of how we compare ourselves to others. I have a love-hate relationship with social media. Although we don’t say it out loud, many of us judge our beauty based on the amount of ‘likes’ we get. We try to make our lives look adventurous and exciting, creating the image of the life we want people to think we have. We over-filter ourselves because our natural beauty isn’t enough in our eyes. Then there’s the couples posts ….oh the gushy love novels. We try to broadcast our lives and care far too much on the ripple it creates. It all comes down to our idea of self-worth.

Let me tell you-God has made you perfect in His divine image. Don’t second guess yourself and do not listen to the lies that this world wants you to believe.

Embrace this season of singleness. Shift your mindset from it being a season of struggle to a season that is a gift. This is the best time to sort through our own messiness. Yes, let’s own up to the fact that we all have some sort of mess in our lives. The Lord will work in ways now that will be much harder to do if we put it off until we are balancing time with our boyfriend/husband and the love of God. We have a perfect opportunity right now! Be happy with where God has you. Honestly I don’t think we will fully appreciate this season until it’s gone.

Take this time to grow in the relationships you do have. Be intentional with your friendships. Spend more time with your family. Be present instead of daydreaming about the future. Most importantly, spend time with the relationship that matters most, your relationship with your heavenly Father.

The right guy will come. I truly believe we will be pursued by a Jesus-loving man someday. Don’t be desperate ladies. Don’t lower your standards. You are worth more than that. I’m going to challenge you even one more notch….be okay with being single even if God calls you to a longer period of singleness. That word we all hear far too often…”patience". Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that God blesses the desires of our heart when they match up to His desires. However, God’s plan for us isn’t our own, meaning our timing isn’t always His timing. Until we fully surrender that, we will never be content with this single season.

Focus on Jesus and focus on your heart.

The wait will be worth it.


Allie McDonald is a 22 year old University of Toledo graduate who is, slowly but surely, trying to figure out adulthood. She cherishes her friendships and family. She loves coffeehouses and dreams of owning one someday. She wishes chocolate could replace vegetables. She always tries to have a smile on her face in hopes of you wearing one as well.  Most importantly, she desires to know Jesus more and more every day.