The Post-Grad Comparison Game

High School. College. Internships. Workforce. Marriage. Kids. Etc. What society calls the American Dream, or in more honest terms—the “ideal" life trajectory.

A funny thing happened when I graduated college. The internet became a treasure trove of comparison, and conversation with my peers became an avenue for insecurity. It seems the millennial generation is determined to define themselves early in life, and pave that ideal trajectory.

While I was blessed to find a job coming out of school, I constantly wondered: Is this the right job? Am I living in the right place? Is this the right time to get married? Are my peers making the right moves that I should be making?

A year and a half later, I’m here to tell you there is no “right” job/time/opportunity/location. I am still happily working the same job, living in the same place, and just recently got engaged. Culture tells us from the minute we take our first job, or make our first big transition that we have to establish our life’s course. We need to “get our ducks in a row”, and follow the linear path to achieve our dreams.

From what I’ve experienced, this mindset is exhausting and honestly, not the way our Creator designed us to live.

God says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’
— Jeremiah 29:11

We are created to find peace in His plan, and marvel at His sovereignty. While planning is necessary in some aspects of life, the obsession that we feel with mapping our lives can prevent us from seeking God’s plan.

A little advice that was passed along to me: You are not supposed to know it all in your 20s. People choose very different careers from their college majors ALL THE TIME. By your 30s, you may be just figuring out how God wants to use you, or not—it may take more time, and that’s okay.

Admittedly, planning is certainly still a struggle for me, but I also know I’m right where God wants me. This time of my life, with all its confusion and complexity is also accompanied with so much joy and delight. I would have never noticed that had I not considered the reasons for God’s timing.

Instead of playing the comparison game, remember this is a journey He’s uniquely created for you.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
— Proverbs 16:9